Do you suffer from fatigue? Headaches? Bloating? Constipation? Constant teary meltdowns? Maybe you have a friend who suffers regularly. These are all signs of stress. Evidence indicates that women are more likely to experience these negative symptoms due to a high-pressured work environment.
This stress response, discovered by Walter Cannon in 1932, was termed “the flight or fight response.” The fight-or-flight response is nature’s protection mechanism; it is a response to danger or a threat. For example, when wild zebras notice a lion stalking them, their sympathetic nervous system kicks into high gear. The adrenal medulla starts producing catecholamines, adrenalin floods the blood stream, veins constrict, and blood travels away from the extremities and organs and concentrates in the muscles that will help the zebra to run.
The Stress Response
The zebra has entered fight-or-flight mode. The zebra has to decide whether to stay and fight the lion or run. In most cases, the zebra runs for its life. One of two things will happen; either the lion will catch up with the zebra and the zebra becomes its dinner, or the zebra will run to live another day. Once the zebra senses the danger is gone, it returns to its daily activity of grazing, forgetting all about the earlier incident.
It’s The Little Things That Drain You
If only it was that simple for humans who have this stress response numerous times through the day. Daily incidents such as traffic jams, arguments, running late, or running out of breakfast cereal cause cortisol to rise and adrenalin to kick in. This stress response is a modern day chronic human condition, which takes strategies to recover from.
Women’s Health Is More Likely To Suffer Due To Stress, Than Men’s!
Studies show that women suffer more than men from fight-or-flight response. Women are more likely to suffer heart disease and suffer nervous breakdowns and negative responses to stress in the work force than men. It’s a survival mechanism that was very useful once upon a time, but in today’s society it doesn’t serve women well.
A female advantage is having elevated estrogen and oxytocin, meaning that women are better adapted and naturally more in tune to nourishing and protecting the young. In a threat situation, these female hormones rise. The natural behavior is to group up and protect the young from the threat.
Tend-And-Befriend
This is known as the “tend-and-befriend” survival trait, and it is this survival instinct that separates man and women. This trait has not been fully studied, and there has been a gender bias when it comes to stress response studies. This lack of understanding has been detrimental to women’s health and wellbeing.
The tend-and-befriend state of being refers to how women are naturally meant to deal with stress. During this stress response, all the feminine traits increase and are heightened. Femininity is defined in the encyclopedia as nurturing, life giving, creative, and open. It is also associated with gentleness and kindness.
These are all positive attributes that are natural behaviours for women. These attributes are particularly seen when women interact with children or loved ones. It is these attributes that women tend to leave at home and replace with more masculine energies in the work place such as aggression and assertiveness.
Use Femininity To Your Advantage
The business world is masculine driven and sees no benefit in feminine qualities. Women have entered the business world and have strived to be exactly like men. Women have left their natural human instincts behind in favor of male tendencies. These male instincts favor working alone. This is why women have gotten it wrong. Instead of working to their advantages, women are swimming against the current.
Learning to harness these feminine traits and learning about your self will help with your natural flow in the world and your connection to nature and your authentic self. Your natural survival instincts will benefit your health.
Have The Upper Hand Over Stress
Adopting tend-and-befriend strategies means communicating to others in the work place, working in teams, being able to be open and honest, and ensuring a supportive working environment. If you worked to your dominant advantage, you will feel stronger, happier, and more energised, and have a much better ability to deal with the stressors of life. No more tearful breakdowns in the bathroom.
1 – Openness
Men do better retreating into themselves and becoming the lone wolf; but this type of behaviour only exacerbates feelings of stress, anxiety, and loneliness for women. Women need to be around people. If you are at work and are going though a stressful period, ask a colleague to go for a tea break with you and have a chat.
You may not feel like socialising, but whatever makes you uncomfortable at first will make you feel fabulous after. So call a friend or go for a walk with a friend, but make sure it is a girl friend. Interactions with women have been shown to dramatically increase oxytocin
2 – Make a Connection
Being touched or touching someone has been shown to balance out cortisol. So go for a quick shoulder massage, interact with your dog or cat, or just hug a friend. Hugging has such a powerful action and should be done up to 8 times a day. Take time out from a stressful day and get a manicure or pedicure; these are some fast, tried and true ways to get your happy hormones pumping through your tired body.
Talking about things is the best way to send signals to your brain. If you are negative about all the wrongs in your life or how your manager treats you, then you will be stuck in this unhappy spiral. Be grateful daily. So when you feel stressed, down, or alone, just sit for 10 minutes and get re-focused.
Try this exercise
Close your eyes and think of 3 things you are grateful for. Really feel them, smile, and be thankful. Feel yourself bathed in light and happiness. Then visualise how you want your day today. Visualise yourself happy and calm; visualise the people around you smiling. Visualise what you want to achieve. Find what makes you happy and imagine it. Once you have done this you will be surprised how different you feel. Negativity will melt away and be replaced by a powerful feeling of positivity and optimism.
4 – Befriend
Befriending is one of the most powerful ways to raise oxytocin and lower cortisol. In busy city life, people don’t interact with the world around them.
If you’re not sure where to start, go to the café and chat with the barista. Ask how they are and how their day is going. Ask about their weekend plans. You could chat with someone sitting outside in the park or your shop assistant in the supermarket. This simple act of reconnecting with society and being interested in other human beings not only helps you but will put a smile on their face as well.
5 – Tend
Tending can include calling your child or loved ones and having a chat. You can tend to yourself. Make a plan; maybe stop procrastinating the fun weekend plans you’ve wanted to do. You could also tend to another by joining a charity, or helping the elderly in your neighborhood. These simple acts of kindness satisfy your natural instinct. Oxytocin will rise, and cortisol will fall.
Try and implement these strategies daily and follow your natural rhythm. Don’t try to hide or disguise your natural feminine instincts. You will find that following and embracing your femininity will fill you with inner strength and peace in the world. You will be following the natural rhythm of the universe, and positive opportunities will naturally flow your way.
You can’t change the external stressors, but you can change the way your body responds, by implementing these 5 tips.
Would love to hear what you do to recover from stress in your day to day life?
